My very blue Exam Blues |Blog, 12, Smrithi

A rabbit, a certificate, a medal, a grand ceremony.

All for me, just waiting for me to enter 8th grade (high school). As I ascended into the clouds, way beyond, the new life had come. But suddenly..whack! Wait, was that a dream? No wonder there was a rabbit. Seriously out for nowhere… a rabbit.

But there was no time to think, for I had school. And what exactly was that ‘Whack’? Well, that was my mother slapping me out of my sleep. “Get up! Come on! Your first examination is today. I believe it is science.” My mother wanted me to get up on my feet and so I had to.

I trudged along to the washroom and got ready. I wore my uniform and ate my breakfast. But I did not go. Why not, you ask? Like many, I have a sister, a younger sister. She was still brushing her teeth! So, I just sat there waiting. Waiting….and more waiting. Finally, she had come! Yes! So, I rushed down. And we were off to school.

I entered the school with a fresh basket of butterflies in my stomach. It didn’t seem so scary back then but now… brr! I headed to my exam hall, where I met my friend. She was irritating but she was still a friend. But before I could say “Best of luck”, the invigilator stormed in, handing out the papers.

I wrote everything I knew and handed in my paper. Whew! What a relief! My friend was looking out the window that overlooked a small house. I was wondering what was so interesting outside. I peeked out and saw a maid washing vessels. She was speaking to another lady. “Sorry madam, but I cannot come to work on Monday, my son is not well and I have to look after him.” And she took her leave.

After that scenario I just realized that I had to go to my native this weekend and may not be able to write my last exam (maths) on Monday. I might fail…no…I will fail. I will not be able to pass and go to 8th grade. My friend asked me, “You look unhappy, what’s the problem?” I just took my bag and said, “I just realised I am going to fail this year.” I left school.

I reached home, ate lunch and studied for the upcoming exams. I was very worried. What if I wasn’t promoted to the next class? My parents always joked around like that and now it looked like they weren’t joking after all. Their prediction was bound to come true. As the days went by, the weekend zoomed in. I felt that dreadful feeling of failing in 7th.  What was the whole point of studying for other exams?

The week had finished now and we left for my native. I spent the weekend playing and studying just in case we can make it back home in time for my exam. I judged wrong. We actually came a day later than planned. I henceforth, will never pass. I didn’t really have hope. My mind went on a holiday. I never bothered to study.

Then my results were out. I was ecstatic I had passed or should I say- conditionally passed. I didn’t care. The school could not, or rather cannot fail me until 10th grade. It’s the government’s rule. To celebrate we had ice cream that day. I really wanted a chocolate scoop but it was all over. So, I took a mongo scoop. My mom asked me, “So, what have you learnt over this year?” 

I said, “I learnt to let things go. No point in overthinking for things that are not in your control. And Amma, stop asking questions… So, I can taste this amazing ice-cream!”